‘Paul wants us to have a threesome’

I almost choke on my orange juice. ‘He WHAT?’

Rachel stirs her pina colada with a straw. ‘What should I do?’

‘Tell him no, no way’ I look at Cindy to back me up, but she just shrugs, and asks Rachel who with?

‘Dunno. He says there’s places online you can hook up with people into that kind of thing.’

‘Man or woman?’ Cindy takes a sip of her half drunk pint. She’s way more interested in this than I would have expected.

‘Woman. Obviously.’ Cindy blushes. Why obviously? Although knowing Paul, he already has someone in mind, probably that new petite blond he’s just taken on as his PA. He’s a walking, talking cliche, that brother in law of mine.

‘Well, you're not going to do it, are you?’ I stare at Rachel, but she refuses to meet my eye.

‘I don't think so. No, I mean, of course not. It's just ... things have gone a little flat lately ... maybe Paul’s right … living out a fantasy … harmless fun … we do need a bit of razzmatazz to spice things up ... ‘ She trails off, and the thought of Paul being a ‘little flat’ hangs in the air.

Cindy drains her pint and slams the glass down on the table. ‘Well if it’s what you want to do, just do it. Don’t listen to her’ she gestures drunkenly in my direction ‘Little Miss Goody Two Shoes. She wouldn’t know a good time if it jumped up and bit her on the arse.’ I feel indignation rising but hold it back. She’s right though, I wouldn’t have a threeway with Paul if the future of the human race depended on it. Rachel giggles ‘The raunchiest thing you’ve ever done is wear a strapless bra to parents evening.’ Comedians, my sisters.

I drain the last of my orange juice and grab my bag. ‘I’m going home.’

‘Don’t go yet. Sorry. We were only joking’ Rachel says, although I know they’d rather not have me here, playing killjoy to their fun.

‘I’m knackered.’ I point at them in turn ‘You haven’t forgotten it’s the school fete tomorrow? I’ve spent weeks organising it, so don’t be late’. They nod and chime ‘Yes Miss’ in unison. I blow air kisses in their direction as I leave. ‘Good luck with the threesome.’