All stories

(a candle) in at the deep end

by Liz

The TV at the end of the ward was silently playing to a distracted audience.

"Well of course, I shouldn't say but i can tell i can trust you...Mr Wainwright over there got a candle stuck up his bum after a rampant night with a younger man! Local primary school teacher and all! It all goes on I tell you!"

Nurse Hackett briskly tugged at the bandages, tucking the ends in so tightly they became a tourniquet to his nether regions. Oh, the humiliation of having this busybody absentmindedly exposing his scars to all and sundry as he lay helpless.

Matt stared at the TV. It was a re-run he knew so well. He had spent hours as a child sitting cross-legged and wide eyed in front of the family set dreaming of adventures of his own. It took seven long years of study but he had nearly made it, he would soon be just like his hero Captain Requin - explorer extraordinaire. This was the man who had unravelled the wonders on the deep blue oceans to a generation. Enchanting, enthralling and dashingly handsome, he was everything Matt wanted to be.

"Mind, you got yourself into some mischief eh?' Nurse Hackett continued, breaking Matts daydream.

"How on earth did this happen? Scorned lover get revenge?" She laughed with a complete lack of regard for her own insensitivity.

"The perils of being a deep sea diver actually.” Matt retorted with scorn "I was exploring new depths in the south pacific when I was savagely attacked.”

"Jees" Nurse Hackett uttered through a grimaced face as she began to imagine the aquatic beast that could do this sort of damage to a man. "You must be brave or mad! You wouldn't catch me doing that sort of thing.” The images she conjured up in her mind were going to fill in the gaps as she retold the story that evening to the girls at bingo. "What was it? I mean, it whipped 'em clean off! Nothing left of…...you know!"

Who the hell had given this woman a nursing degree? Bedside manners?

“Aren’t you meant to be a bit more tactful? Isn’t that part of the job?” Matt lashed out.

“Alright alright, I was just a bit curious is all. I mean it’s not every day you see someone with these injuries and such a cool story.”

Her attempts at flattery were pathetic and made Matt squirm even more. Since he was little, he had built himself up to anyone who would listen as the next Captain Requin. It’s who he was. How then could he live with himself knowing the truth? There was no aquatic monster or fierce battle, no extraordinary circumstances to add kudos to his dreams. Matt had slipped whilst getting out of his scented bubble bath and landed groin first on the electric heater that had been toasting his pyjamas ahead of an early night with the latest episode of Sex and the City and hot chocolate.

Morry and the shark

by Beth

‘Morry! Are you with us?’ Morry looked up to Brother Taivo standing over him, ‘Oh yes I’m right here’, he gestured to himself. Brother Taivo rolled his eyes, ‘And tell us Morry, what could be more fascinating than the word of Our Lord?’ ‘Well I was just wondering Brother..’ started Morry, ‘what is a eunuch? ‘You’re beginning to test me now boy’ warned Brother Taivo. ‘Oh I would not test you’ exclaimed Morry, ‘It’s just Yip was telling me about..’ Brother Taivo cut in ‘haven’t you learnt not to listen to that half-wit blabbermouth?’. The other children started to snigger. Morry ventured, ‘Brother, are you a eunuch?’ ‘GET OUT OF MY CLASS’ roared Brother Taivo A wide-eyed Morry looked around, baffled. He shrugged his shoulders and pushed back his chair. Morry wondered down the long hallways of the monastery that had been his home since before he could remember. The sun shone brightly through the high windows, Morry marvelled at the dust that danced around him. ‘Good morning Brother, Good morning Brother, Good morning Brother’ he sang as 3 elderly monks passed, each rolling their eyes in succession. Morry shrugged. When he reached the courtyard Morry was glad to see Yip was there. ‘Morry’ Yip called out as he approached, ‘what are you doing out and about at this time of day?’ ‘I got thrown out of Brother Tavio’s class’ Morry said turning his palms to the sky. ‘I don’t know why’. ‘What did you do?’ Yip asked with a grin. ‘Yesterday I overheard you tell your father that the monks were eunuchs and your father had said that they probably weren’t; apart from Brother Taivo.’ Yip burst with laughter. ‘You didn’t ask Brother Taivo about it did you?’ Morry was confused. ‘I was just wondering about it..’ he shrugged. ‘Morry you crack me up’ Yip said wiping his eyes. ‘But really, you want to get out more’ he said and started cackling even harder. ‘I wish’ sighed Morry. Yip stopped laughing. ‘Come on Morry’, he said, ‘only one more year of training to go and you’ll be out of here, off of this island and on your own pilgrimage or whatever it is; you’ll be out in the world, just imagine all the things you’ll see’ Morry’s face lit up at the thought. He wondered if dust danced the same way in the sunlight outside of the monastery.
Yip leaned in, ‘I tell you what’ he said, ‘I’ve got 5 minutes before my father returns from his deliveries, how about I show you something’ ‘Oh yes!’ said Morry, ‘What is it?’ ‘When we rowed across to the island this morning, the sea was a soup of sharks, it’s mating season so weren’t interested in us, but oh you’ve never seen anything like it Morry! If we climb up high enough and we might still be able to see them over the walls. ‘Wow’ said Morry slowly mouthing the word, ‘What’s a shark?’

Dogfish beach

by James

All these people had come to the beach, taken off their clothes and now they were stood around naked. There were hundreds of people, maybe a thousand, men and women and kids. It couldn’t be called a glorious sight, there was far too much that was wobbly or was wrinkled but it was majestic. All these people not a care in the world, not a part on their body didn’t feel the cool breeze coming off the ocean.

The knot in her stomach was going. She looked good naked. She was goddess compared to most of these. She was still in her swimsuit but was starting to think why not?

Then she glanced to her right and there it was.

Gary’s penis.

Gary standing there naked as he oiled up his shoulders and his chest with suntan lotion. Gary who legend blamed for the camera found in the women’s locker room. Gary who now moved his hands lower and began circling the swell of his belly, sparse hairs slicked tight to his skin by the oil.

He grinned at her and when his hands moved lower she dashed her face to the ocean.

‘What?’ he said. ‘Wouldn’t want to get burned there.’ He chuckled throatily. ‘Wouldn’t want to disappoint you later.’

She looked right in his face and said, ‘Never in a million years Gary.’

‘It’s time,’ he said. ‘Off with the bikini.’

‘I see other swimsuits.’

‘It’s called grace time, for the first timers. But the rule on this beach is no clothes, no exceptions.’

She hunched behind her rucksack some more.

‘Or you want it to get back to work it was your blabbermouth blew the Mishton account? What was that worth, one point two mil?’

‘When you screw up I’m right there,’ she said.

‘Get ‘em off.’

‘If you have a camera.’

‘Please.’ He tapped the side of his head. ‘Up here, forever. Every time I close my eyes.’

She was away and running, threading her way between the sea of naked. Gary could ogle her ass because that’s all he was getting. When she was knee deep she dove and then did a couple of hard strokes under the surface, knees and elbows scraping the sand. She came up for air face to face with a surprised dogfish shark gone dopey in the warmth of the shallows. It eyed her sleepily.

The knot was gone. Gary with nothing on the wonder of nature. Yet here he was, toeing through the waves. She let the water lift her body and kicked slowly deeper.

Safe beneath the water she slipped off her bikini top and waved it. Gary followed eagerly as she kicked a little deeper. Still the small shark was a grey blur beneath the surface.

Gary took a final step to go waist deep and it was almost like they were normal people again, only there was this shark and there was Gary with his dangly bits all self-basted with oil and oh so tempting.

Ill met by moonlight

by Jenny

“Alright darlings, take it from the top - amaze me!”

I’d forgotten the script. I knew I should have learned it, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I waited nervously amongst the half-painted plywood trees. Jess had to go first and I wondered how much of her script she could still remember through the haze of last night’s wine. I wondered how much she remembered of last night at all. I didn’t look at her.

“You juggler! You canker-blossom! You thief of love! What, have you come by night and stol'n my love’s heart from him?” A good start for Jess. Damn. I had to say something. Anything. Hector was staring.

“Puppet!” That was definitely in there somewhere, I was sure. I committed to the moment.

“Painted maypole!”

“Blabbermouth”

“Uh...Eunuch?” I suppose it sounded vaguely Shakespearean, to give her credit, but she was losing it now, a smile disrupting her actor’s anger.

The whole thing collapsed into giggles and Hector, The Great Director, stormed out disgusted. At least Jess had fucked up too, I thought. The strange uncertainty that had lingered over us since we woke up dissolved in a moment.

“Come on, he won’t be back this afternoon, we may as well go and do something fun.” I obediently grabbed my things. It was weeks until opening night - Hector’s strop would cost us more than our laziness, I told myself. And we were getting paid either way.

We stepped outside, still wearing the ridiculous dresses that Hector insisted we rehearse in. He really was an arsehole. They were heavy and dusty and we looked bizarre, scurrying across the busy road half dressed as Shakespearean ladies. Jess grabbed my hand as we ducked between cars.

Her favourite place was the museum, especially the basking shark skeleton suspended from the ceiling and she led me there now. She still hadn’t let go of my hand and I was painfully aware of it.

We sat on the steps under the shark. We must have made a curious picture, but there was no-one around to see. We were totally alone and I was suddenly terrified. I remembered in blurring burgundy snapshots the events of the previous evening, the smell of her hair, her hands on my waist, falling asleep together.

We hadn’t said a thing about it, just come to rehearsal as usual. She wasn’t looking at me.

I had to say something. I wondered what I felt about what had happened, wondered if I should speak. But it was there in the room, hanging over us, waiting to break like a storm. Was this something I wanted? Maybe. Was it what she wanted? I had no idea, but her hand was still clasping mine and it felt wonderful.

My heart racing I opened my mouth to tell her that maybe this was something great, something that could work for us both.

But Jess had started first, before I could begin.

“I think I’m in love with Hector...”