All stories

Five of them in the dark waiting for the monster. Jason, the Cooper twins, Darren, and rather weirdly, Millie, and she was scared of everything. She was fascinated by Darren’s tale of a half man half bull creature that stalked the caverns gobbling up kids who had foolishly ventured from the safety of the bunker.

‘But which half is it?’ Millie said. ‘Is the top half the man, or the bottom half?’

Darren squinted at his hand of cards in the gloomy light shining from the lantern in the middle of their circle. ‘What? Oh, um, whatever you normally get, top half bull, I suppose.’

‘Oh,’ Millie said. ‘Gosh.’

The game moved around the circle once more, and this time it was Donny Cooper who spoke, but quietly, almost as though he were thinking out loud. He said, ‘Top half man, bottom half bull. Definitely.’

A clang from one of the bulkhead doors startled the group into shushed silence. Jason turned off the lamp. In the sudden darkness their breathing was a rolling thunder, this fear creeping up his insides, of the creature on the prowl. He felt a hand reach for his leg and squeeze, and this was a new horror; who was on his right, Millie, or Donny Cooper?

Booted feet were crunching the loose rock path, and then the light of a head torch faintly illuminating auburn hair swept past and away into the caves.

‘That was your Hot Aunt Susan,’ Darren said.

‘Bitch Aunt Susan,’ Jason muttered. He searched around on the ground for his cards.

Darren said, ‘Yeah, she caught him in an awkward moment. Let’s just say, when he was pretty relaxed. Mostly.’

A shocked silence, and then giggles. Jason tried to sort through his cards, but it was hard, the way Millie was staring. Jason turned the other way, to find Donny Cooper with the exact same look on his face.

Darren opened his mouth but didn’t speak. A faint scream was echoing, and then a faint voice, calling in agony: ‘Oh God, help!’

Millie shot to her feet. She was digging deep in one of her belt pouches. She thrust up her hand in triumph, small pieces of paper fluttering between her fingers.

‘Plasters! She might be hurt. Come on, guys.’

No one moved.

‘Guys?’ Millie said.

The screaming began once more. Millie turned and raced towards it.

‘Maybe we should…’ Donny Cooper said.

Jason rolled his eyes, remembered the darkness, and sighed in deep condescension.

He said, ‘If there’s a monster, I’m pretty sure it’s top half man, bottom half man.’

Donny Cooper leapt to his feet and raced after Millie.

Darren said to Bobby Cooper, ‘Dude, your brother, is he…?’

Bobby Cooper said, ‘Hot Aunt Susan’s top half woman, bottom half woman, right?’

They were both gone before their cards hit the ground.

‘Bunch of idiots,’ Jason said. He began to gather up the cards, face still burning hot at the memory of his aunt’s triumphant screeching, at her torch pointing in accusation as his franticly clawing hands.

The cards fluttered once more, and Jason was off, haring and hoping because if he was late, he’d be the idiot.

With a retch the shuddering vehicle disgorged the content of its innards and twenty six excited fifteen-year olds spewed out into the drizzling morning.

Clustering in groups of jeans and branded sportswear the GCSE students of St Oswald’s comp postured and pouted, revelling in being out of school and out of uniform for a whole day. Only Natalie seemed to notice how miserable the weather was, how the rocks stretched grey and cold all around them. How what little sunlight there was was filtered into something soupy and dark by the trees overhead. Only Natalie, it seemed, was not excited to be on the trip.

Potholing. She had nearly managed to duck out, just by not showing the permission slip to mum, but Aunty Janice had found it and insisted it would be good for her to get her nose out of her book and doing something adventurous for a change. She’d convinced mum it would be good for her and so here she was.

The guide was a tall thin bored man with a yellow hat and a healthy disdain for the group. He ran through the safety procedures in a monotone that the teenagers talked over.

“I’m a fully trained first aider and I’ll be bringing medical supplies, so there’s nothing to worry about when we’re underground”

Alec Knowles sniggered “Mate, if we get trapped underground or attacked by some kind of mythical beast down there I don’t think your box of plasters and antiseptic is going to do any good.”

The guide ignored him expertly, but Natalie’s stomach crunched. Soon they would be going down there, away from the soupy light and into the darkness below. It would be tight, she knew, and pitch black. There would be no air and now way back.

But she silently put on her safety helmet and vest and watched as the guide fastened them together, all in a long line, tethered by one long rope. She thought fleetingly of Ariadne’s thread as she disappeared into the darkness.

Of course she was at the back. Of course she was the last one. The weakest. If she got lost who would know? The guide was up front, droning on about something and Alec was snigering about the word ‘spelunking’ making obscene gestures in the torchlight.

Natalie, however, felt far away from all of that. Her breath came in short quick bursts and her vision swam alarmingly as the rocks closed in around her. Forced to her hands and knees to fit through the decreasing spaces she forced herself to stay quiet, tried to stay calm, to stop her from doing anything that would draw the attention of her classmates. Just one shuffle at a time. It can’t go on forever. You’ll soon be out and everything will be ok.

Until suddenly, from the pitch blackness behind her came an overpowering smell. It was a raw, animal smell of filth and sweat and fear and lust jumbled together in a rush of hot, foetid air filling Natalie’s mouth and nostrils. And out of the darkness a deep, bestial rumble as two gleaming eyes sparked red in the dark.

Twisted, crunched, crooked toes thud along the floor. Hard as hooves. Echoing endlessly along, accompanied by lonely dust dancing to each stomp. The sound is joined by a low screech, heavy and sharp. Along the wall a deep rut runs, head height either side. The screech is closer now, until in the dim distance a creature appears. One horn grinds into the hard walls, a violent violin tearing through the plaster of the faded frescos. The creature passes by. Then softly another approaches, Theseus steps lightly. A careful silent step. Drawing nearer. In the deep half light the steel in his hand glows. And then the screeching stops.

“I have no joy in this.” The Minotaur’s viscous voice wraps around you like a velvet cloak. “It is not my wish for you to die. But it is my fate and yours.”

Theseus is silent. It had been too long now. Getting here, all he had done and been through.

“I can smell your fear like all the others.” The Minatour continues.

“Can you? I’m not sure that’s my fear you smell. Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? And you think I’m scared of some horned fool lost in a maze. Clucking around like some unpleasant aunt.”

The Minotaur remembers then, he had had an aunt once, she would play with him unafraid when he was young, before he learnt his true nature. Light and laughter and maybe for a while he had been happy.

“I know nothing of you, only what I was and what I am now.”

“Oh fuck this” Theseus unstrings a bow from his back and before the Minatour can blink, he fires three strong black shafts deep into its body. The Minatour gasps in shock. He feels the arrow head move inside him. Feels the warm trickle of light shining out.

“This is not…”

“Not what? Possible? Happening? Decreed by the gods?” Theseus watches the creature fall to his knees. It’s unwieldy muscular head drops forward in an unwanted nod of defeat.

“No-one will know how you died, just that you died.” He says brandishing the sword high.

“Wait, I ask just one….”

The sword drops and slices into the neck of the beast.

“I’m actually in a bit of a rush.” Theseus says and then rips the sword backward. Golden blood arcs out in a one colour halo of angelic horror. He hacks again and again until eventually the head rolls away. “That’s the problem with you creatures.” Theseus sighs, as he unfolds a bag and tries to force the giant horned skull into it. “Convinced they are the worlds greatest. But there is always someone else waiting in line. Take too long and you miss your chance. You have to do what you can, when you get your shot. Well that’s that done anyway. Should be plain sailing from here on for me.”

I don't know if it happened or if I dreamt it. It is as vivid to me as waking and as ghostly as a nightmare. I was taken to the rotted out hollow at the base of the biggest tree where I had something greasy applied to my upper lip. I was turned to face the darkness in trunk and this what I was told.

Go down beneath the tree roots. Start from the middle, keep the wall on your left and walk. Even if you come to a dead end, keep moving forward with the wall on your left. Rest your knuckles on the wall so there is always contact. Don't be drawn towards lights, these will shimmer like gifts for your sight but will blind you. Ignore wafts of scent, which at first will seem linen fresh but which turn fetid and rank if you seek out there source. Don't listen for anything but the scrape of stone on your left hand.

If you see the shadow of a horned monster stay still, keep your head down and your mouth shut. If you are lucky it will pass you by and then you can keep moving forward. If you look down the way and see the outline of an old woman do not go to her. She doesn’t need your help, she is a hag, a mouldering aunt who will eat your nose and use your body as a coat. Just keep moving and she will forget you quickly, so old is she.

There will be no light, except for distant flames around which wraiths dance to tempt you with their nudity. Sometimes the firelight will glint off their sabre fanged mouths as a warning, don't let your desire take you to them. Just keep your hand on the wall to your left. Feel it but do not mind it as it takes the skin from you. You can dress the wounds with strips of soft woven cloth when you are done.

It is a long way around and out from this labyrinth and it will take you a day and a night to reach the open fields above. But you can never stop moving in all this time, never sit or lean to close your eyes for just a moment. If you do that, the underground creatures will swarm, they will cut off your toes for stew, flay your back for leather and pick out your eyes to make jewellery. This is what happened to some before you and that is how we know what you need to do. If you listen to me and do as I say with courage and attention you will emerge and be blessed with abundance and good fortune. Go now, and keep the wall to your left.

This is what I was told. This is what was told to my brothers and sisters who did not pass through and to my brothers and sisters who did. This is what I shall tell my grandchildren.