It was a bitch having the Sight – eating out was a kitchen horror show, and the things that happened in toilet cubicles. But there were pluses, one of which was watching from the ladies as Kal slipped something in her drink.

Sandra sighed as she washed her hands – she had the worst luck with random internet hook-ups.

It was good shit he’d used though. She was woozy within minutes, then she was stumbling in his arms down the lane to her cottage within the hour. Once again as she was dragged up her own stairs she made a note to get a softer carpet fitted. It wouldn’t hurt to buy some clothes with easier buttons, the way his fingernails scraped as he pawed to get her naked.

A couple of quick spells later and Sandra was at the top of the stairs as Kal began his conquest. The man was whooping as he high fived himself. She wrapped a towel from the bathroom around herself as she waited for Kal to start screaming.

She opened the bedroom door. Kal was naked, hopping on one foot as he tried to get back in his jeans, but at the same time unable to tear his eyes away from the man in the bed. Though not a whole man. Half a man, a merman – top half fish, and bottom half just smoothly anatomical enough to have tempted him.

Kal looked pleadingly at her. ‘What the hell is that thing?’

The merman waved his winking bum at Kal then blew a fish lip kiss. ‘That’s the question you’re worried about?’

Naked Kal bundled past Sandra and barrelled down the stairs. She let him get his fingers on the front door handle before she caught him in a spell of Holding. It was a Shift spell to get him into the kitchen, and then a bunch more Holdings to get him pulled tight into a star shape.

Sandra picked up her boning scissors and showed them to him. She went behind him, Kal twisting his head both ways, trying to see as she put a frying pan on the gas then opened the fridge.

She said, ‘You know what I do to rapists?’

‘Please, please, no, I didn’t!’

She showed him the scissors once more, closing them slowly in front of his eyes. He began to whimper as she sank slowly to her knees. His begging ceased to be words and became a high-pitched whine as she wrapped her left hand around his cock and pulled it taught.

‘Snippy, snippy…’

He screamed blue agony when she put the heel of her foot hard into his balls. It was a scream of pity and horror when she stood and showed him the pork and apple bronze medal winning sausage, snipped end dipped in ketchup.

He passed out when she threw it in the frying pan and it began to sizzle.